Fortune Small Business: Anxiety, Fear, Good? (I am "Sherman")
If you own a small business and don't read Fortune Small Business, you are missing out on a great publication. As i have stated before, I get more publication/article/blog/rss/email/twitter/facebook/linkedin/plaxo/everydamnsocialmediasiteontheplanet/etc., overloaded every hour, day, week, month, year. Part is a craving to be in the know, part is insanity, part is morbid curiosity. Whatever it is, i still have literal boxes of magazines (dating back to my original post) that I have not read. I dont have time. I do, however, read Fortune Small Business, for some reason, the day it shows up. I read it because I find the publication real, and speaking directly to me, and frankly more than ever before with this article on Entrepreneurs and Fear/Anxiety.
Article Link: What entrepreneurs are feeling: Fear
by Alexander Stein
In this article, I am the "Sherman" which the author refers to. I am him. Read the article and you will understand. I realized that I have become him, within the last year. There is one particularly telling paragraph in this article:
I'll add to the list above: vendors, contractors, and the government (local & federal). This isolation is absolutely the feeling I have every day I go to work so I rely on my confidants as well. Mine are a mix of mentors, friends, like minded colleagues...people who understand me on the levels that I let them. They help talk me off the ledge, metaphorically of course (Fuze occupies the second floor so a ledge-leap, is nothing more than a faster route than taking the stairs). Still, this feeling of incredible isolation does come into play from time to time, and with the current state of economy and business, I feel these feelings more than i used to.
The article continues and i arrive at these paragraphs that describe why "Sherman/I" think and behave the way I do:
What's not working for Sherman is his unconscious confusion of the past and the present. Emotionally, he's convinced that his business isn't temporarily faltering in a recession environment but failing altogether because he didn't heed his father's dire warnings about financial overextension. He identifies late-paying clients with his domineering, unappreciative mother. Frustrating business transactions become recurrences of traumatic rejection. No wonder he's anxious."
In these dramatic examples the article hit home for me. I am riddled with anxiety and fear from time to time, but in the same respect, I thrive in the face of chaos. I cannot think of a single presentation/pitch that i didn't wrap up seconds before jumping in the car, on a plane, or in the case of my last presentation to a group at Artown, I was updating the slides as we were setting up. Not to say I don't research, pine over, and prepare, but when I put my thoughts down and decide what to present, its always at the last minute. I think its because i know my propensity to be distracted by shiny objects. When you have no time, you cant accept distraction. This is how I work best, the greater the pressure, the more I focus. The more challenging the situation, the more I shine. It works for me, and its how I do MY best work. This doesn't work for everyone.
I often joke here on my blog and in person about the joy/curse of owning your own business and running your own show. There is no safety net, no gov'ment cheese, and you have many, many peoples lives in your hands. The Fuze family is over 30 peolpe, when you take into account our kids, spouses, significant others, etc. That's a lot of responsibility...and we're the small guys. This is my balance act and something that I feel causes me the greatest anxiety: one day, will my race to the finish come up short on the face of the landing and will i let down all these people around me who see me as the leader, friend, partner to which they've hitched their wagon. More[most] importantly, what example do I set for my own son if I fail? There, friends, is the source of all my stress/anxiety/fear.
I encourage any would-be or current small business owners to read this column, and to pick up FSB. The article here wont solve your problems, but it may help you understand some things about yourself as you relate the words to you. Ive got a late night here tonight...with 20oz of wonderful Americano by my side, i will plow through some bills, organize tomorrow, and keep looking forward to the future.
Have a happy Thanksgiving all.
B
PS
I think we are launching a new website(s) next week...that's the rumor is anyway. We're actually doing ours a little different than most. You'll get to watch us do the whole thing. Riveting.
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