Bryan Landaburu (aka Reno Bryan, Willie Vega, and Fuze) | Dont call me a blogger

Sirius XM Merger Great (in theory) but shit really, for subscribers.

I am a subscriber and early adopter of Satellite radio. I was right there with a Sirius subscription in hand when my hero Howard Stern left terrestrial radio in the biggest media frenzy, and biggest contract ever signed by a radio personality.  I have had Sirius in 2 cars and at home on a Tivoli for years.  Recently i purchased a GM model luxury SUV (he who shall not be named) and it came with XM only.  So, of course i activated this subscription and i have to say that i enjoy the programming more.  Here is my take on each of these companies, and why neither was fulfilling my desires:

Sirius Satellite Radio

• Howard Stern - Hands down the main reason i signed up. They also have NFL, NASCAR, and other exclusives which i don't care about. 
• Faction - enjoy this station because of Ellis, Bam, Tony Hawk, etc.
• Radio programming (music channels) isn't that great.  A LOT of repetition on the music channels
• Overall i think its ok, but...
• No MLB - this sucks.  I drive a lot and LOVE listening to baseball games. XM has em, Sirius doesn't. This blows.  But, they have Howard so i keep it.
• Pause/Record - The device at the office and in one car allows me to pause/rewind, the broadcast, even record it, like a Tivo/DVR. That rocks.

XM Radio

• Forced on you by GM
• Music stations are better.  Less repetition, more variety, better distinction between genres.  All around better than Sirius
• MLB - they have the MLB contract so you can listen to literally EVERY MLB game that is live.  This kicks ass
• No Howard Stern - not an option.
• aside - the XMradio.com website is mostly flash making it useless on a mobile device. nice job dolts.

Both

• They both, just like my cable provider at home, have crap loads of useless (to me) stations that are there for the sake of filler.  They suck.  I wish, like i wish at home, that i could pick the 10 channels i want to watch and put the rest in the recycler.
• Both have streaming websites but neither has an iTunes integration - this is lame
• Both charge for EVERY radio, so, my monthly nut for my "radio privileges" is: $48. A lot these days for a passive bit of entertainment
• Both, 100%, without question, are 10,000 times better than any terrestrial radio feed on the planet.  I haven't listened to regular radio since the day i switched with the one exception, the Adam Carolla Show, which i listen to at drive time, and then quickly turn off after 10am PST. See, i enjoy Howard stern in the morning, but on satellite with an east and west feed, plus a repeat, i can listen to that daily show whenever i want.

Ok enough of the review...here's why i am pissed.  I am pissed because i have both of these dumb services, and i pay them the afore mentioned $48/month for services.  When they merged i expected this to be my hay day.  All the things i am missing from each will be fulfilled. All my fantasies of radio coming true.  Life is grand.  BULL SHIT!  Here's how they did it:

• No notification in writing or email that this was happening...it just "did".
• No explanation of how it was going down or how, as a subscriber, i was supposed to receive the new channel line up or how it was going to effect my devices
• Ok, the stations are there on both (they picked a Sirius heavy music line up which blows, and they didn't give us a chance to vote), but some are missing...hmm.
• Yes, i cannot listen to Howard Stern on XM, even though i am a Sirius subscriber and an XM subscriber...if i want the "best of Sirius" or the "best of XM" I have to PAY MORE, and not just more one time, more on EVERY DEVICE I HAVE.  This sucks you pricks!

These asshole companies wanted us to fight for them in congress and with the FCC. They want us to bandwagon and evangelize their service. But, this merger, once passed is just going to cost me MORE MONEY.  It doesn't benefit me AT ALL! If i want Howard stern on my XM device, i have to pay a new premium (note, this link isn't direct because XM jackasses built their site in flash) if I wanted MLB on my Sirius devices, i have to pay an additional premium.  This seems like racketeering and i am pissed...why?  Because i am probably going to forgo another tipple latte/month and pay! But, i am going to cancel some of my cars which is an inconvenience for me. Frankly i cant justify this much outgoing for the privilege of their feed.  It could have gone down so much simpler, and they could have built such a groundswell without raising prices at a time where people are killing EVERY SINGLE UNNECESSARY expense. Wanna hear my concocted[perfect] scenario:

Bryan's Awesome Deal | A Satellite Service (which carries the acronym: BADASS)

• I pay a family plan and get 5 devices for a reduced fee - encouraging me to spread the word.
• Different programming could be controlled by the subscriber at each device (parental controls and minimizing the station count so I can scroll through them faster).
• All the channels are there, or, i get the option on my plan to choose the stations i want and pay only for them. Currently you cant OPT OUT of a channel, but on BADASS you can kill all the gospel, country music, political slur, all pop music, and the lame ass overpaid radio personalities who have a place on Sirius and XM.
• No Oprah (and any of her associated nonsense (NOprah))
• No Martha Stewart (better than Oprah, but still see above)
• No Playboy channel (seems controversial from a red-blooded male, but this is as watered down as the brand is...maybe even worse)
• I would develop a pyramid scheme for billing...every person a subscriber refers reduces their monthly...worked for Amway, why not radio.
• I get to stream from my iPhone with a 3G or WiFi connection
• I can only be authenticated in 5 places (including my streams) - meaning i have a 5 user license
• I can be authenticated in iTunes and play through iTunes as a device
• The premium (if we must charge) content should come AD FREE - currently to listen to Howard Stern, BTLS, MLB, etc. you have to sit through commercials, just like regular radio.
• When i sell a car, or want to turn on/off a device, i can do so on an easy to navigate, standards compliant website that works on all screens.
• When new content is added, and new software is available, it streams right through to the device (like an iPhone)
• My services and traffic and the like will be GEO TARGETED, using those fancy satellites to do something more than stream, how about real time traffic on my Nav, how about Nav period? Maybe a concierge concept powered by Yelp.
• I would have a limited Internet browser on the next gen device, for sure hands down. Voice commanded.

Thats just my roll out plan developed in the heat of this post.  I am full of [shit]ideas so just ask you SiriusXM jerks. The process you are going through turned from something i was excited about, talked about, and wished for, to something i am confused about, angry about, and frankly, considering taking away subscriptions.  Is that what you wanted you scallywags?

I have to go, I need to go find my radio ID and try to make Howard come on in my SUV by the morning...any bets on how much it will cost, how many phone calls, and how much time (that I don't have) this will take?

SUCKIT Sirius XM.  If there was an alternative, I would consider it.

Signed,

Disgruntled BADASS

Now here's a novel concept, anyone remember Sears LAYAWAY?

Back in the 70's I used to look through the JC Penny, Spiegel, Sears, etc, catalogs about this time and pick out the hero toy of the season.  To afford said toy for my brother and I my not-rich parents would use something called LAYAWAY to acquire the toy for us before Santa Day.  For those of you that haven't ever heard of this, its a concept where you actually pay for something BEFORE you take it from the store. This little known concept went the way of the dodo during the decades of decadence that happened from the 90's to present. Credit cards and home equity made Christmas' quite bright all over the US in the last decade, but here we sit all broken hearted and this year retail will be a different scene.  To address this, while JT was bringin sexy back, Sears is bringin Layaway back:

Is this a sign of true change? Why do i comment on Sears email so much?  I dont know the answer of either, i just know that this is an email you would have never seen 2 years ago.

Lemme put a lil sumthin' on it...

BL

Google, I'm the REAL Reno Bryan.

Certainly there's no arguing that I am the real Reno Bryan.

But, thanks to Google, I no longer can brag about this to impress nerds and the easily impressed in bars and public spaces. Their [google] last reindex has me plummeting in rank from #1 (where i have been for a year) to the unmentionable doldrums of the interwebs.  I really don't get it.  I am Bryan, I live in RENO, I've had a web development firm in Reno for 7 years, I'm on the board of the Reno Tahoe Young Professionals Network (who are having ther 2nd annual Leadership Summit next friday), and I frequently comment on the trials, tribulations, and happenings in the biggest little city in the world, more recently branded the Greater Reno[dash]Tahoe area. Even friends and other Reno bloggers like Ryan and Myrna think I am reno bryan, i just dont get it.

I am certain that all of you with companies re-test your search rankings every day right? Every week? Month? Come on...you don't think Google doesn't shuffle the cards every now and then do you? Call if you need help.

At least I can rest on the laurels that our clients are top 5 for other Reno terms like: reno riverfront condos, reno mail house, reno printing companies, etc. etc.  You cant look for any photo ID product any ID card printer under the sun and not find IDWholesaler.com or at least one of our clients. I am supposed to know how to do this, so I am on a mission.  I will reign supreme as reno bryan again.  Until then i will just have to be #4 for Bryan in Reno.  But I'll be back. Mark my words.

[maniacal hand rubbing]

I'll get you my pretty...and your little dog too.

Angry Bryan

PS
So help me if Wolfy says, aren't you in sparks, its on. I'll whack him with a tall boy next time i see him on his huffy 10-speed.

Crutchfield.com Customer Reassurance - get ready for more of this

I have long been a fan of Crutchfield.com and we have admittedly "borrowed" from their research and concepts for some of our own ecommerce clients projects (don't act like you've never done it). They are true innovators, the best of the best customer service wise, best catalog, best marketers, best photos, best descriptions, best content overall. Not however, the best prices but I digress.  They kick ass.  Today, in kickass fashion the CEO, Bill Crutchfield (go figure) sent out an email to all his customers that is preemptive and simply awesome as we approach the holidays.  It's also a nice "suckit" to their competitors in consumer electronics online retail. Wanna see it, here ya go...

There is one particularly notable paragraph that demonstrates this CEO's smarts and the company's ability to see past the end of their damn noses:

"For many years, I have been concerned about the growing credit bubble. It was obvious to me that it was unsustainable and that an inevitable day of reckoning would come. To protect our customers, our employees, and my family from the disastrous consequences of a financial meltdown, I positioned Crutchfield to withstand the worst. We became very frugal with how we spent money. We did not pay outlandish executive salaries and bonuses. We did not build fancy facilities. We did not expand our retail store operations. And we did not buy other companies. Instead, we worked extremely hard to improve how we serve our customers, while we managed every aspect of our business with excellence. Furthermore, we paid off all of our debt and accumulated cash reserves."

Hot damn! Makes me wanna buy a big screen for the den!  Seriously though, get ready for more of this from responsible and prepared companies as doom & gloom runs rampant throughout online commerce this holiday season.  Crutchfield is a company that will weather the storm and this sincere, and this authentic letter has me evangelizing for them and committed to them as a company.

Nice job Bill.  I hope someone on your PR team sees this (because I actually do matter, or so my mom says).

Happy FriDEE!

Bryan

What Happened to Our Economy by Xplane

I am one who feels that people should be allowed to hang themselves.  Meaning, that you are responsible for your own actions.  As our country (and the world) face serious economic crisis, it's this time that we need to rethink a lot in our lives. Politics aside, an administration didn't do this to America. I am not even going to state a side on the Presidential race because while McCain and Obamas version and solution for the economic issues are interesting to debate, this doesn't seem presidential related to me. The video below from Xplane gives a nice, short overview of exactly what happened to our world from 2000 to present.  This all has to do with greedy, dumb people.

Give it a watch and I really hope that my 5's of loyal readers who don't know what a sub-prime loan is, or how our lives will be forever changed by the last decade of decadence, hear the message. I know several friends who have had their homes foreclosed on, are losing their cars, and (hopefully) some dignity. These are good people but they have bad priorities and make dumb decisions. Personally, I have an expensive lifestyle, and things aren't always rosy in my world, but dammit, I made my own bed and I'm sleeping in it. I can't blame a bank for holding a gun to my head to buy a mortgage I can't afford only moments after I Visa'd up a new pair of True Religions. In my business, there would be no bail-out for Fuze making dumb ass business decisions.  We would just fail.  Like a wildfire in the forest, failure is a cleansing of society and this needs to happen.

Frankly, I am on a serious grandparent rant these days because days where true concepts of money, financing, and personal dignity have gone the way of the Dodo in favor of bigger rims and cooler boats. A lot can be learned from your grandparents if they're still with you...they have lived through this. What we face going forward, could actually be that bad.

Learn from the past. Rethink your life. Make smart decisions. Market yourself and your business and emerge a leader.

Ever forward,

Dr. Vega

Why does B to B usually mean Boring to Boring?

Here at Camp Fuze we are heavily vested in several vertical industries, but the some of our largest clients are true B to B players.  It is often that these clients revert back to being conservative vs. sticking their next out a little bit. This tends to go against our advice, but for the sake of being safe, they opt to go this direction. The results are watered down advertising and campaigns that struggle for relevance and meaning.  A watered down campaign makes the intended audience yawn and say, "so what?". In some cases you insult their style by assuming they have a "lack of", and quite simply, you lose their attention which goes a long way towards eliminating any interim interest or final conversion. 

To defend my point, I came across this video blog post from marketing guru Martin Lindstrom who clearly explains the Boring to Boring concept and why companies are losing out on $$ and opportunities because they are underestimating their customers ability to enjoy witty and fun messages just because they wear a suit and tie to work every day.

View Martin's message here...it'll take you a whopping 2 min and may change your focus some.

• Boring to Boring - Video Blog [link]

Stay witty businesses...

BL

Approved with changes...

I haven't posted in a while. Screw you, I've been busy.  :-)

Anyhoo, from the smarties at shankman.com I am passing along this video.  It's really for anyone who is regularly converted from campaign creators to utilitarian word art designers, or for those of us hear the term "approved with changes" or "we have a mionor update/resize/copy change/addition/etc.". If this is you, then this video will warm the cockles of your heart as much as it does mine.

http://view.break.com/542649 - Watch more free videos

Enjoy here at the end of your Friday.  Here's to a great weekend and smooth week next week.

May your Mojitos be made with only the finest rum...

B

Reno Airport vs. Las Vegas Airport "Free" WiFi

So this is a post that came from a "Tweet".  Originally I posted these to TwitPic, but today, in an effort to get organized I was cleaning my desktop and came across these 2 photos that contrast the "free WiFi" in Nevada's 2 major airports.  It got me thinking that I haven't ranted enough on the topic.

Here at the Reno Tahoe International Airport (RNO), the local fishwrap (RGJ) has made it their charter to "monetize" free WiFi access at the airport...turning access into a profit center through the "magic" of abundant banner advertising. See ad's circled below:

In comparison, our friends to the South, Las Vegas McCarran International Airport (LAS) have a version of "free WiFi" that is not littered with banner advertising. See below (notice no pink circles):

One must wonder how in the world Las Vegas survives and puts shoes on their kids without "monetizing" their free WiFi. Must EVERYTHING be a streaming ad? 

Speaking of RGJ...on the RGJ's redesigned site (which I think is a vast improvement over the previous rev) you are still served irrelevant ads non-stop - constant pop-outs, video ads, display ads, and random links disturb the user experience on the site. Other newspapers seem to manage without it (ex. TheGuardian).  So, if one must have ad's to keep ones publication alive, then cant one serve the ad's contextually and relevant?

The ad's on RGJ are rarely (if ever) served contextually.  Example: I am reading a story about Artown, so OF COURSE I am REALLY thinking about Carpet Cleaning (a video ad for Evergreen carpet care was served in the article).  An example of a good contextual ad here would be something for downtown bars/restaurants, art galleries, or something that GOES WITH ARTOWN.  My theory for the reason ads on RGJ.com are most often OUT of context and irrelevant is that they don't have enough advertisers to be contextual and relevant.  They just need to fill inventory.  To their advertisers, they call this Johnny Appleseed disbursement of advertising "value-add" but I call it "wasted-cash".

Anyway, I don't [necessarily] want to rant on our local news rag because they publish many (1) articles about Fuze and Me. I just think the free WiFi should be free.  Simple, no?

BL

How Much Information Can We Retain?

 

Starting to realize that I am reaching information overload. Its a fine line because I love to research and just "know" what's going on. Not just about my work, but my interests, travel, finances, passions, and of course there's always the enjoyment of simply being entertained.

Tonight after a couple [few] months of pile up (literally), I decided to organize my back-reading stock of magazines. See photo. At current count I subscribe to 48 magazines, 10 of which are weekly's. I realized after organizing them into piles that I am at a minimum 2 months behind on every publication. This means in most cases I am still reading about holiday shopping in the issue I am on.

This little project got me thinking...how much information can one person retain? I mean if I take all these magazines and then add the RSS feeds, blogs, websites, emails, etc, I shutter to think how many things I am requiring my brain to wrap around. I've always had a propensity for remembering things and a quest to know everything, but I think my current state borders on information addiction. Anyone else suffering from similar?

Well, I better get going on these mags, 48 mags x 3 months = 144 issues to burn through on their way to the landfill (errr recycler).

BL

(a treo post...sorry for the typos)   

A Tale Of Two Dennis' - American Greed Body Double

Boy oh boy, this has nothing to do with marketing.  As always, I have my CNBC running background in my office here all day and this afternoon I caught the first episode of their new docu-series American Greed featuring the STELLAR Dennis Kozlowski who stole millions from his company ($30Mil for his NYC pad, $1mil for his wife's 40th b-day party, etc.).  As I watched this guys rediculousness, I started to realize how much he looks like Northern Nevada's own pimp, turned business mogul, a one Mr. Dennis Hof. My friends, I think we have a body double on our hands:

   

Both named Dennis, both rich, both love women and hookers, yet, here is an interesting epiphany for the world: Nevada's most famous PIMP, owner and proprietor of the "world famous" Moonlight Bunny Ranch, is a better guy all around than the former CEO of the Tyco corporation.

Yes, I will be taking credit as the first one to put this sexy pair together.  Ohhh sweet irony...

BL

Fuze Icon Borrowed [stolen]

This morning my desk was graced with the presence of the Northern Nevada Addy Awards Program.  As I leafed through it, I noticed my prediction was correct that the great Walker Lake advertising swept pretty much every category from ads, to copy, to photography, to web, to eblast, to bathroom stall art, etc. While I don't really "get" the premise of the ads, they are in fact, lovely. Congrats to R&R. 

As I continued turning pages I came across a program ad that sure got MY attention.  Seems the Bauserman Group has paid their friends at Fuze an homage in the form of "bomb" advertising (as depicted below):

This simply MUST have been an oversight, right? Oh well, after 5 years, we're kind of tired of that bomb so if you guys want it, hell, keep it.

Sorry I missed the Addy's this year, I bet it was a hootenanny.  Alas, there was a re-run of Deal or No Deal on Friday night. Boy, I love that Howie Mandel.

BL

Airline musings. March edition.

Things are a little hectic around the Fuze camp. Primarily because I have been jetsetting like a madman. I just realized I am sitting across from David LaPlante from Twelve Horses on this flight. It was nice to catch up a bit since we've been trying for months to schedule a meal together. Anyway, I am heading out now on my 3rd venture to San Diego in 6 weeks. Lots going on down here. I am nearing speaking paralysis these days. I haven't done a slide count but I believe I have prepared about 200+ Powerpoint slides for various events in the last few weeks. I just wrapped up at SMX West and the Miva Developers conferences last week. This week is NFRA. See other posts for show wrapups.

The hive is buzzin with things to do. I think Calder and I (mostly Calder) have done an excellent job of positioning ourselves within the ad space in northern nevada which is keeping him, dan and the other artists plenty busy. David is hangin tough on the interactive side and is really becoming loved by the clients. Our development crew's plate is pretty full for the remainder of the quarter and our pipeline also looks good. That seems to be common among my peers in the space as well. Things seem steady on the web side. We've expanded our relationships and service offering with our email marketing providers, commerce platforms, testing platforms, and our analytics providers, further strengthening a line up that was already pretty strong. My charter remains to continue to cart our course to a diverse client mix that is industry & geo balanced. So far so good. We have also revamped our client review and project management processes to be much more systematic. We have formalized all our internal procedures - many of which were just in need of evolution vs. revolution. So anna our agency coordinator has her work cut out in order to keep all of us on track. We have added media strategy and media buying to our business, out of necessity mainly, but Fong is very capably manning that ship. Finally we have extended our services even further by adding full-service Public Relations through our partnership with RKPR who are helping us win, and manage these great new, and existing accounts.

We added the following new clients in Q1:

• Clearstar Credit Union - agency of record
• Magiko Carson Valley - agency of record
• NNDA (the other white meat in the Econ.Dev space) - agency of record
• Reno Tahoe Blues Fest - agency of record
• Lazaro SoHo - for email marketing
• Food Bank of Northern Nevada - interactive agency
• Cashill Law - agency of record
• True Blue Gaming - agency of record
• The Gaming Standards Association - agency of record
• Legends Reno Tahoe Open - while not a new client, we have formalized our relationship with the tournament and will take on all interactive Agency tasks in 2008
• Titan Construction Supply - agency of record
• JP Menante Real Estate - interactive agency

We have completed site launches for:

• The Entrust Group
• University Health System
• Boyd Gaming
• You Name It Events
• Fennell and Associates
• those are off the top of my head...there are probably others.

If you're wondering how we get it all done? Its with a team of about 15 folks who are dedicated to their craft and making big shit happen. We are also getting ready for another round of hiring, though the positions are already spoken for (in our heads). There is a lot on the plan for the remainder of 2008. We WILL launch a new website(s) to better represnt who the hell we are. Its brewin'. Trust me its brewin'. But, as most are aware, we are not big on exploiting our work, so in the meantime you probably won't see things like:

"Fuze awarded a website job", or "Fuze chosen to build an ad" in the business journal, awards events, or the local fishwrap. Those items are hardly newsworthy.

We rather enjoy our underground status...it let's me write from the cuff, typos and all, and simply let the work speak for itself.

Thanks to all who have helped get our 2008 off to a great start. Come on baseball season...opening day countdown. T minus 4 weeks...

BL


(another treo post...sorry for the typos)

Does luxury need to be for everyone?

I ask again, does luxury (in all its forms) belong in the hands of the masses? My frame of reference for this post comes from the folks at Bag Borrow or Steal but I'm gonna put a long tail on this kite so read on...

I've had this post brewin' for a while now because I have a strong opinion/concern about the state of the union and our desensitization to price tags, luxury brands, goods, cars, clothing, water, vodka, etc. I can remember a time when luxury was unknown, elusive, unattainable and generally "not for you".  On a recent trip to Monaco one of our lead designers (we'll call him Dan) was told this very thing when he tried to go to the world famous, ornate, baroque, Casino with his new wife...both dressed in their Sunday best (good enough to get them anywhere in San Francisco or Manhattan). They were greeted at the door, looked up and down and simply told, "It's not for you." Shocked, they courteously left.

This doesn't happen in the US, as long as you're willing to pay. $12 bottle of water, hell yes. $50K for a Hummer + $10K for rims, yes please. $300 for some True Religion Jeans, why not. My last trip to the Motocross I saw 20 yr olds carrying Gucci bags (to accompany their crooked Fox racing hat and their "proud to be a bitch" wife beater).  I will only guess that it was a swap-meet-Gucci, but the point is that the masses are all FASCINATED with luxury.  I am quite certain that a decent percentage of folks who buy luxury items can actually afford them, but more than can, do buy these items. Why? Tabloid magazines, MTV et al have become evangelists for the Bling generation where luxury is "in" and anything less is inferior. Is anything unattainable?  The concept of layaway (where you put a lil' somethin' on it) is a thing of the past. Now it's about instant gratification. Wealth, in general, has a completely different meaning to current generations than say my Grandfather who lived through the Great Depression.

And, what happened to normal brands?  They're all GONE.  At least when you look at advertising for clothing, travel, transportation, hotels, alcohol, entertainment, etc., etc.  Still in an effort to keep some sort of posh exclusivity, makers of luxury had to create a new Super/Ultra/Uber Luxury level, just to keep the riff-raff out. One of many examples of this illogic is in nightclubs. Last time we went out big in Las Vegas we went to LAX in the Luxor (where Paris Hilton frequently "makes it rain").  The only way to get a decent table with a view and some room to breathe (without dropping $20K at the gaming tables), was to buy our way in. I believe the night for 20 was in the range of $4,000. Who would pay that?  Everyone apparently, the place was PACKED!  And not just LAX, rather, every one of the Vegas super clubs was packed with people paying the same tabs we did. And at the very same time, equally packed were clubs in LA, New York, Miami, the ATL, etc.  I think we're all takin' crazy pills because this has somehow become the rule vs. the exception.

I really don't even know why I am on this rant. I consume luxury as much as the next guy, but at the risk of sounding egotistical, I am not [presently] bangin' it out paycheck-to-paycheck either. Still, nothing is going to change, until the economy forces it to.  Looks like here in 2008, the great economic equalizer may be ready to wield its sickle.

OK, back to the BASIS for this post.  Here is what got me juices flowin' on this topic.  I went to Babelfish (on the great Altavista) to translate something from English to French to send off to a colleague in Paris.  On the translation screen I saw this ad...

...and dammit I thought I was losing my mind.  Rent a f-ing handbag?  Yes. Now, in true Netflix fashion, the genius' at Bag Borrow or Steal [applicable name] will RENT you a Hermes, Louis Vuitton, Chanel, etc. bag, just to impress your [easily impressionable] friends.  Keep it a day, week, month, year, they don't care, its all razor blades as far as they're concerned. When you're done with it, you just send it back and they send you the NEXT one on your list.  What's next?

• Will people soon start asking what sort of lease rates are available on a new Versace clutch?
• Will my wife finally get her feet into those red-sole Christian Louboutin shoes because they have a payment plan?
• Will I soon be renting my William Rast Denim?
• Could I launch a new gum brand, packaged in a suede lined wrapper, available only at high-end boutiques, and get people to pay $15/pack just because Jay-Z & Jessica Simpson chew it to freshen their breath and whiten their choppers? [this is a topic in itself]

Don't laugh...all of this is theoretically possible. Part of me says brilliant, and part of me says that this is a sign that Armageddon is coming. You be the judge.

Whew, thats a lot of key bangin'. I'm glad I got it out. I feel so much better. I think I'm gonna go down to the CalAve and do some shopping.

WBV

San Francisco Supercross - attitudes & advertising

 

I blog to you from Club Level section 215 at AT&T Park in San Francisco and the 2008 AMA Monster Energy San Francisco Supercross. As someone who raced and appreciates the talent in the sport, I have been a fan of supercross for many years.  We are also very involved with the industry through our representation of LivFast Freestyle Motocross team - managing their events & sponsor deals, and their clothing line. I have to say I after tonights event, I am disapointed in the current state of MX for a number of reasons:

• team extreme - these are the black hoodie, flat bill hat, semi-adult, angst ridden, monster truck drivin, ready to fight in a second, inked sleeves and hardware faced extrEMEists who give the sport a bad name.  Its no longer about family and competition but instead its who's the baddest ass.
• the format - there are literally 6 races all night...not a lot of racing and not a lot to get excited about.
• no more heros - the greats of the sport are gone so there are no more riders everyone knows, no more rivalries, just riding.
• 10 lap main event BECAUSE OF RAIN - WTF??
• Commercials - worst of all.  In a 3hr program there were 6 races, each lasting about 10-20min - this means we watched OVER AN HOUR OF COMMERCIALS AT A LIVE EVENT. Holy crap what a waste. Not to mention every square inch of eye space covered with a logo of some sort. It's really overload - AN I'M IN ADVERTISING!

Anyway...thats my 2 cents on the state of supercross.  The sport is still one of my favorites to participate in and my son will have a tricked out mini bike when he's 3yo I am sure.  It was still fun but nothing like days past.

WBV

(another treo post - sorry for the typos)

Christmas is dead sexy!

I am not sure who decided to put the sexy in Santa Claus this year but 2007 sure seems to be the year that the exhibitionists get to whip out their revealing costumes and make it a par-tay before the dust even settles on Halloween's Grey Goose soaked bustier.

I find these sort of events the equivalent to caddie-day with alcohol, so I will probably be a great indoorsman this weekend. But, that doesn't mean I don't admire the efforts and creative savvy of those who vow to make Jesus' birthday as sexy as it can be.

Party on Wayne!

WBV

Reno is cool now...we have a District!

In an ongoing effort to "hang" with the big cities, we have our first official "district". Welcome to SoDo. It's official...we're real now.

Here are a couple potential other districts:

• SoMo - South Meadows area (obvious)
• NoDo - lets hurry and classify the university area NoDo because the University District takes too long to type.
• E40 - east of downtown on 4th street where you can easily score a 40. Don't tell me 4th street is all hip now cause my dad rustles off sleepy folks from his business porch daily.
• HoHo - this district is 5 miles east of sparks where prostitution is legal.
• JethHo - this is the area with the ill fated Park Lane Mall which was never acquired (but not for lack of effort) by Max Baer (Jethro Clampet)
• 2WD - a hip spin on double-wide for Sun Valley (our neighbor community to the north). Still sporting two entries in the Guiness for being the worlds largest trailer park, and for having the highest concentration of convicts.
• others? Submit some...I'll post 'em.

Ok you Reno purists, before you start flaming and hurling on me...take it easy...this is a joke. I like reno. I like living here. I like having my business here. I am a 4th generation native Nevadan...so I am authorized to make funnies about my home town. If we can't laugh at ourselves, then what have we become?

That said, I am starting to think we can't we come up with ANY ideas of our own. Does everything have to be a copy of what exists someplace else (and we have it too)? We have some cool "San Francisco style" restaurants. And a couple swell "Vegas style" nightclubs. We have some hip "New York style" urban highrises. What is Reno-style? Anyone know anymore? Sometimes I think we chase our tails trying to be a big city when the charm of this place is in the city's moniker: The Biggest Little City In The World. Still works for me.

I don't see our area as being cool because we have districts, and "xyz-style" stuff. Rather, Greater Reno(dash)Tahoe is unique because of the people, the mountains, the world class skiing, world class recreation, miles of open trails, 2 stroke vehicle accessibility, all the nearby lakes, the climate, the location & proximity to so much. The river redevelopment is cool, california avenue is cool, the first street bar & nightclub areas are cool, downtown Sparks & the marina are getting cool (though I am partial), Grand Sierra has turned into a very cool casino resort (and is doing original and interesting things people said "will never work here"), outside of Gotham center/urban-ia, our neighborhoods are still safe & nice, traffic ain't that bad (though the skill level of drivers is low), and in spite of rising/falling housing costs, this is still an affordable place to live - in comparison to a big city.

Folks, lets all vow to keep reno weird! Oh wait, that's Austin...oh well, use it till we sort something else out.

WBV

[another treo post - sorry for the typos]

Will [not] work for free - Constant improvement measures

I just got back from vacation and it was a full detach for me.  Honestly one of the first vacations i have had since i went into business for myself over 6 years ago. Now, don't cry for me Argentina...most who know me, know I take time off all the time. But, i have become the king of the 4-day weekend.  This is not the same as a vacation.  Those of you with busy lives and businesses probably have similar stories and feelings.  So, my vacation was great...thanks for [not] asking.

Anyway, the holiday could not have come at a better time because the last 2 quarters have been break-neck for all involved in Fuze.  All cylinders have been singin' a throaty rumble. We have a couple mega projects launching this month...over 6 months in the making, and boy are we in need of some breathing room to look internal at our business and breathe a bit.

We were actually supposed to make December a down month to work on our 'stuff'.  You know...Christmas gifts that we probably wont complete, holiday messages we will forgo in favor of getting client messages out, a new website long overdue, etc, etc. Obviously we wont fulfill all of these.  On the other hand, I am living vicariously through my pals in Leeds at Carsonified who decided to take 10 days off to work on their business (right on the heels of their rebrand). As always, Ryan's story is interesting to follow.  Really has me thinking about our business and some of our shortcomings which we are improving (competition read on):

• As of recent, we seem to be having some trouble working on our own stuff, and at the same time, we are troubled with wrangling clients and keeping some of our larger projects on a fast track.
• We've grown, and are managing more people, projects, and clients as well - need to keep all VIP's VIP's...no bad seats here.
  
• Our processes & Project Management systems have had light shined upon them and both need to evolve. 

All not lost, just a rant. Hopefully folks appreciate the honesty. We get things done, but with some process & system improvements, we would have more capacity and would provide an even better customer experience so things are a changin'.  While I'm at it, i am re-evaluating a few other things.

Like most good agencies, we get all too frequent requests/pipe-dreams asking us to do free work for our friends-of-friends, good causes, bad causes, etc.  I am a sucker for the most part when it comes to charity and community service which is why we have contributed, in 2007 alone, the equivalent of nearly 1000 hours of pro-bono services & donations. You do the math on that...it's a lot for an agency our size. I have always been a believer in giving back so we will certainly keep helping folks out pro-bono wise, i think that our criteria for selction of charities may well change.

So, pro bono will be re-focused, but we are going to start waving off another type of freebie here for 2008.  I am not a believer in trade out, and we have far graduated from a need to do "portfolio work", spec work, trade for ownership, etc.  Can't. Won't. No mas. To support this philosophy, I came across this funny animation (courtesy of Stefan Lucut) that i found fitting so i will share:

[click to view animation full size]

The animation got me thinkin': I think some people believe all we do here is draw pictures and play on the computer, and as a result, think that we are fully available to goof off for them - as if our time has no value. We don't have a lot of agency 'fluffers' here at Fuze, everybody is a contributor (not typical of an agency, but it works for us) so we don't have a scrub team we can throw on freebie side projects.  Hell we have 100's of ideas internally we would rather work on than someone's "build me a ..." job thats lobbed over the wall unsolicited. 2008 will see these requests get highly scrutinized before we consider them.

So my holiday resolutions are:

• evaluate client roster - make sure we have good fits
• visit with clients more often - sometimes I lose touch
• keep the projects good ones - no bad work
• don't waste time - don't waste money
• build new & better processes for all workflows
• narrow pro-bono to engagements where we can really make a difference
• expand client base into target markets & industries
• continue our community involvement
• continue to grow
• LAUNCH NEW G'DAMN WEBSITE(s)!
• ...

...well, this wasn't supposed to be a year end wrap up, so i will stop and save that for December 31st, but one thing i can guarantee is that, much like 2007, you can expect a new look and feel for everything Fuze in 2008. Ever forward...as always. Pardon our dust till we take the covers off...

WBV

Disgruntled employees, the airline industry, and you...

Today I received an email rant from one of the marketing/tech recruiters I personally respect greatly, Marc Cenedella, CEO of TheLadders. He had an interesting observation which sent him off on a rant only another perfectionist can appreciate.  Here are some excerpts from his message to me today regarding employees, the increasingly raggedy-ass airline industry, and what it should mean to you. [note - I bolded my favorite parts]

A grumbly Monday morning to you, Bryan,

...other people’s travel hell stories are about as interesting as other people’s "kids" or "new exercise regimen" stories, so I’m not going to bore you with one of those. And as a matter of fact, my recent flight on American wasn’t uniquely miserable. It was just run-of-the-mill lousy. But what really got me bummed out was my flight attendant’s outfit.

Katherine had gone to the trouble of wearing buttons with all sorts of sayings on her uniform. You know, when you’re on a flight on one of the legacy airlines, you kind of hold out hope that somebody - anybody - will give a damn. And like a drowning man might, I saw Katherine’s buttons as a statement. She cared! She was going to stand out against the ennui and mediocrity of her co-workers and let the world know that she, Katherine of American Airlines...was taking a stand! A stand for friendliness, and approachability, and caring about her customers...

...I am a bit of a nut for our customers. We love you. We answer all your emails within 24 hours, and 88% of them within 3 hours. We run all of our business out of the good old USA, right here in New York City, and don’t outsource stuff overseas...and we generally try to treat our customers like our family. So when I see somebody breaking out against the norm, standing up for customers, and daring to care, I can get pretty excited.

And so as Katherine approached me I strained to get my work weary eyes to read the fine print on her button. It was a light blue button with dark blue writing, and I could just about make out the words:

"I"
"Have"
"No"
"Idea"
"Why"
"I"
"Work"
"Here"

And I have to tell you, that was just about the most deflating, disheartening, dispiriting, depressing thing to read after a relaxing weekend. While I won’t share them with you here, the rest of her buttons were of an equally sour-puss nature.

And you know, Katherine and her type stand for everything that’s bad in the world. For every one of us trying to achieve great things, there’s a Katherine standing nearby ready to tear it down. For each of us trying to make the world a better place today, this hour, this minute, there’s a Katherine in the wings sticking her tongue out. And not only is there a Katherine, but there’s a company willing to hire her...

...And while Mom said if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all, I wish the Katherines...of the world nothing but failure. Failure in their campaign to pull down the productive people, failure in their efforts to keep winners from winning, and failure in the marketplace so that better people and companies can serve American Airlines customers.

So don’t be a Katherine!

His letter gets a little personal regarding good ol' AA (where I still hold my pre-board status), but as you can see, he is pissed.  I join him on the piss when I come across 'katherine-esq' people who are pessimistic, argumentative, know-it-alls without the balls to get out and walk the walk.  Agree with the tact or not, Marc shined a light on a problem in this world.

In addition to the pessimism and poor-me elements of the 'katherine' persona, there is also a mindset where many THINK they are smarter/better/richer/cooler/talented than everyone else, yet unwilling to step out and put their brilliance to the test, see if they can make a difference, or start something of their own, from the ground up and make it into something real. Carpe their own diem.  I seem to see an increasing number of wanna-be entrepreneurs, bench racers, shadows, always quick with an opinion, rarely with a solution. I have completely lost patience for 'katherines', and frankly refuse to have them around me, around my business, and around my circle of friends.

I hope Fuze is forever devoid of Katherines. I encourage other employers to follow suit - sniff these people out and get rid of them. Marc concludes with a fitting sentiment:

You take your career and your work seriously, and we will take you seriously...whatever you do, don’t sell yourself short, and don’t let the Katherines of this world bring you down.

I’ll be rooting for you!

Warmest Regards,

Marc Cenedella
Founder & CEO
TheLadders.com, Inc.

I was so moved by this, that I just had to pass this on.  AA will go on and on surviving but consider this a clear call out to all pessimists, nay-sayers, virus-spewing, jealous know-it-alls. Don't talk about it, be about it. If you're born to be a follower, then be a happy follower. But, if you aren't happy, instead of bringing others DOWN to your level, why not try taking yourself UP a new level [or 2].  You control your destiny. What you are or aren't, is ALL ABOUT YOU. The big blue marble is full of opportunity - this is quite possibly one of the best periods in history - opportunity wise. Make something of it, Katherines.

I will see those who choose the path of greatness in a winners circle someplace.

WBV

It's your future, you shape it, you're in the driving seat.
- The [real]Office

31 hours, 4 minutes, Alex Roy - our hero

(Nothing to do with business, but hey, it's a Saturday and a borderline holiday weekend, so take 5 min to yourself you little rascals.)

Not new news if you are a car nut, but if not, then this should impress even the least interested. Alex Roy recently shattered the transcontinental driving record (previously 32 hours & 7 Minutes), passing from New York to Los Angeles in 31 hours and 4 minutes!!!  The previous record had been standing since 1983 and was held by David Diem and Doug Turner.  Certainly illegal (but still cool as hell), attempting something like this these days will take a hoard of technology, luck, skill, and CA$H to pull off.   Here is a snippet of his drive and a sample view into the cockpit of that M5:

Wired did a full article on the madness.

• Read the wired article here

Other links:

• Visit Alex's site here
• Buy his book here
• Visit Team Polizei's YouTube pages to see how insane they are

There is also a new movie coming out to commemorate the Cannonball-esq events and nostalgia.  It is aptly called 32 Hours & & Minutes - The Film.  Now, as someone who grew up idolizing the Cannonball Run movies, all things racing, this documentary style film and all the rare footage it contains is something i am salivating to see.  Here is the trailer (courtesy of Gravid Films delivered via the FUZEtube):

We had the opportunity to met Alex on one of the Bullrun events, and he is a great eccentric guy. Have you ever met Captain Ramieus, general?

Congrats to the NY wild man...wonder what's next?

WBV

The Tonopah Tales 2007 - a Reality Show Brewin'

 

Tonopah remains a town fit for a reality show based, in the words of George Costanza, on NOTHING. Here in tonopah...there is the acronym AAA. Which stands for...

• Anger
• Alcohol
• Ammunition

...the mix of which are the basis of all the charm and hospitality that ooze out of this ol' mining town. Once a bustling mining & military town, Tonopah presently feels D E A D. The town is a mix of boarded up shops and businesses coupled with roadside fare (namely fuel) to nourish weary travelers headed between reno & vegas. Its income is derived from the tills of the remaining local business and TICKETS (Esmeralda County is the most expensive speeding ticket in the state - believe me I know). The place seems completely impossible for kids to be positive, connected with the world, stay out of trouble and achieve greatness because there simply isn't anything to do.

Yet, to me, for all its ill, there is still something inside that wants to take a week or so off, camp it here, and learn via the power of osmosis what makes these folks tick.  Maybe even work on my ill-fated book idea, or any of my countless other web ideas. I have my journ to the middle of nowhere for 2008 planned already, Speed Week at Bonneville, but perhaps 2009 I will rain down on this town and answer my internal question...what's up? I just have to get to this before the renaissance happens and the Starbucks & Ultra Lounges roll into town shakin' their little behinds for the men folk...

If you're behind me on my drive, can you catch the lights?

WBV

NOTE: if you want to represent Tonopah, historic jewel of the desert, please comment here.  I dont mean to give the place a bad rap, i just speak from my own observations.

(another treo post - sorry for the typos)

walker lake...still ugly after all these years

[photo depicts the literally 2's of people who packed the walker lake beaches today]

Many thousands of dollars
+ an award winning advertising agency
+ an award winning photographer
still add up to some head-scratchin'[false] advertising

Walker lake remains an alkali filled body of water not fit for man nor fish, surrounded by dirt, sagebrush, ammunitions, and dirt.

The campaign i speak of features beautiful billboards, ads, etc, with wonderful photography depicting this 'prehistoric' landmark as the cats meow, and something to see with your family before you die.  If you buy into this campaign, you will head out on the open road seeking some real good ol fashioned family adventure.  Here is how i predict it all going down:

metro family of 4 embarks on journ, singing and laughing, without a concern in the world that they have forgone the Disney California Adventure in favor of Walker Lake Landmark. They roll up in the SUV, throw open the doors, shout, "we're here!", look around, kick some dirt, someone says "I'm hungry", mom claps dad over the head with today's fishwrap, teenage son says "this sucks", family loads back into SUV, and motors 85+ to Las Vegas where they partake in Nevada's real past-time, good ol fashioned GAMBLING [and family entertainment].

While I am certain this year's addy's will be filled with loads of hi-fives and back slaps for the absolute beautiful campaign they created, visiting walker lake is no more desirable than visiting Hazen, Moundhouse, Yerrington, Silver Springs or any other sleepy, dusty, rural desert nevada town [err 'landmark'].

Visit Walker Lake...

...still vacancy.
...still dirt.
...still gambling.
...still fossils (mostly ones hiding from society for some reason).

But alas no...

...adventure.
...ammenities.
...good food.
...entertainment.
...viable reason to be here.

Lord advertising sucks some[most]times.  Ever forward on my annual pilgrimage to Vegas for SEMA.

WBV

(another treo post - sorry for the typos)

Please Stand and Celebrate Talk Like A Pirate Day

It's September 19th, so in honor, please join FUZE as we stand an' observance o' National Talk Like a Pirate Day. One o' th' wee holidays we observe here at th' camp. Here be a couple sites fer ye t' peruse an' appreciate sea dog lore.

• Learn - talklikeapirate.com
• Read - SWAG

See ou' out at sea...Ya lily livered scurvy cur!

WBV
Head Pirate

Maddox + iPhone = Tears of laughter

Topic o' conversation: iPhone. There are two of these $500+ gadgets here in the office and their owners are very enthusiastic about what they are.  I personally think, while visually cool, the iPhone is nothing more than an advertising campaign you can hold in your hand. I won't buy one because you:

• can't cut-n-paste - WTF?
• can't take video - obvious
• can't manage Outlook Tasks or Notes - Microsoft hatred remains steadfast
• can't change browsers - Safari sucks on the mac, pc, and now the iPhone too
• can't delete e-mail - try removing 20 'viagra' emails without opening each one 
• can't install ANYTHING - narrowing the likelihood of much 3rd party development

While I have ranted and raved about mobile phones in the past**, in this case I really don't want to throw my name in the hat with all the 1 million other 'self-proclaimed-know-it-alls' who have reviewed the iPhone. I find most of these reviews about as ridiculous as someone trying to explain why a shoe smells. That said, my friend Maddox is up to his usual brilliance in this fantastically humorous[vulgar] 'review' of Apple's beloved iPhone.

Take a trip on over to The Best Page In The Universe and see what he has to say.
WARNING: Usual warning applies. When clicking this link you will find vulgar college humor. So, if you don't enjoy/appreciate said humor, then click this link instead:  Google Google Sponsors Lunar X PRIZE
(Google - you've got more money than sense mate).

Anyway, it's probably just past the threshold of good taste, but when I read it, I laughed so hard that I was able to skip my nightly ab-ripper exercises...thanks Maddox.

WBV

**Other useless mobile phone rants from yours truly...

• http://fuze.typepad.com/fuzeblog/2006/11/blackjack_is_a_.html
• http://fuze.typepad.com/fuzeblog/2006/12/treo.html
• http://fuze.typepad.com/fuzeblog/2006/12/verizon_chocola.html
  -followed by-
• http://fuze.typepad.com/fuzeblog/2006/12/good_news_choco.html

Please buy me something...

Anyone looking for a last minute gift idea as a reward for being so very cool, please start your searches here:

• www.excitations.com [perfectly acceptable gifts]
• www.tfaw.com [any of these are acceptable]
• www.homestead.com/robotart/ [any of these little fellas will do]

Beats soap-on-a-roap.

WBV

Even the spammers are lazy in the summertime...

Apparently our SPAMMER friends (and you know who you are) have 'revved' up a new batch of friend greetings.  Even the spammers are lazy in the summer.  Cant you guys think of a new gimmick for me to click on and give you all my credit card information?

Subject Line:
Family member sent you a greeting card from hallmark.com!

I know this is fake because:

• my friends and family all know I hate email
• my friends and family all know I only observe like 5 legitimate holidays a year
  (one is Groundhogs day, can you guess the rest?)
• my friends and family are not idiots

Lord wont you please make SPAM go away.

WBV 

Bragging rights - RTO Pro-Am Champion [and minor celebrity]

Every once